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If ya can't smoke....laugh!
By groucho
on June 11 2010 at 4:37 am
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53, Male
Australia
Member Since: July 09 2002
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Your Duck is Dead--
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary
surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet
pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's
chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and
sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has
passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the
vet..
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean
you haven't done any testing on him or anything.
He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the
room. He returned a few minutes later with a black
Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the
duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the
vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out
of the room. A few minutes later he returned with
a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately
sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back
on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry,
but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably,
a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys
and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!"
she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The
vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my
word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the
Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
You can be a good example....
Or...
A horrible warning!
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Message by ChinHi
on June 11 2010 at 5:11 am
Location: United States Joined: July 06 2002 Posts:
25398
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I started laughing at the beginning of this. it is wonderful !! just love it! thanks for sharing.
KCL = Keep Choosin' LIFE
"Never leave another quitter behind" by BTBASSER
Namaste
Mahalo Karyn and lindy our SHEROs
7/25/01
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Message by Kat_fairykats
on June 11 2010 at 8:39 am
Location: United States Joined: January 25 2006 Posts:
12514
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Hello you jolly birthday boy! lolol How's your Friday night going? Bleck...I am on my way to work in a bit, you lucky thang you :) Thanks for the smile this morning hugggggggs
p.s. are you seeing this colour in your sleep? I am! lol
"When you quit, your forevers will come to you."
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Message by Pupcake
on June 11 2010 at 12:11 pm
Location: United States Joined: May 05 2009 Posts:
1190
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har har ;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Smokefree since May 5, 2009
"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." ~ Dolly Parton
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Message by Joppette
on June 11 2010 at 1:20 pm
Location: United States Joined: July 25 2002 Posts:
18250
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This was HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!! I loved it!
Judy
Living with lung cancer since 2007, and still doing it! Smoke free.
QD: 12/3/2004
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Message by skipper8
on June 11 2010 at 1:50 pm
Location: Canada Joined: July 02 2002 Posts:
12289
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NUTTER
HAPPY 49TH BIRTHDAY !
~~The time is always right , to do what is right ~~ KTQ ~~Kathy
QD- 21-11-11 :)
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Message by LynnEEE
on June 11 2010 at 1:55 pm
Location: United States Joined: January 03 2009 Posts:
2024
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too funny! Is it your birthday? ... have a wonderful day!
I started to live like God intended...smokefree! I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and so can you!
‹(•¿•)› LynnEEE♥
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Message by tictac
on June 11 2010 at 3:47 pm
Location: United States Joined: July 30 2002 Posts:
1725
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Happy birthday Ross have a fantastic year!!
Remember you cannot smoke "just one", EVER.
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Message by laughinglady
on June 11 2010 at 9:25 pm
Location: United States Joined: December 28 2007 Posts:
8112
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Hey we both just turned 49 and we are both gemini's too!!!
Happy birthday and loved the joke..
"Duc, sequere and de via decede" ~ Lead, follow or get out of the way!!
~Never Give Up~
5/7/09
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Message by ChinHi
on August 23 2010 at 1:30 pm
Location: United States Joined: July 06 2002 Posts:
25398
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Happy Lunaversary again! 
KCL = Keep Choosin' LIFE
"Never leave another quitter behind" by BTBASSER
Namaste
Mahalo Karyn and lindy our SHEROs
7/25/01
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Message by betsy
on December 25 2010 at 8:06 pm
Location: United States Joined: January 11 2004 Posts:
30614
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betsy QD 11/10/03
Today is the best day to not smoke!
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