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Summer!!!!!!!!!
By Pykke
on July 04 2012 at 10:28 pm
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85, Female
CA, United States
Member Since: July 21 2002
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It is hard to believe that 2 long years ago today, himself went into the hospital..and didn't come home...It has seemed like an eternity at times......When I think of the changes I have made...my head spins..I have moved...leaving my home where we spent so many happy years..and in a facility filled with many folks just like me. Am I happy??? Not really...the food is lousy at times..I am not used to noise...some of these old people talk incessantly repeating the same thing a million times...and at times I don't think I can stand the lonliness one more minute...The staff is very caring, and try to make us comfortable in every way. Yesterday we had a big barbeque which was great...today was the 4th...not yesterday...but we celebrate on the day they pick!!! SO..today was a usual day with many inmates away with their family....Very quiet, and depressing....
I will fly to Portland Oregon on July 19th to attend my granddaughter's wedding. I have been asked to bring a care giver...(no one wants to help an old grama)...which I am doing...$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Have reserved hotel, rented a car, managed oxygen, made airline reservations...rented a wheelchair, and now need to find someone to take us the the airport....rent a shuttle...
I hope I make it through the wedding....The granddaughter was the light in himself's life...To see her marry without him by my side is going to be hard...we both love her so.
These are the things that keep me awake at night....Oh,,,yah,,,play bingo, play bridge and do a lot of reading. I don't knit anymore...fingers are too stiff...Water aerobics help...but am still very sedentary...Will have that MILD procedure in August...which I hope will help. I need to put on a happy face....It ain't easy at times....So...here's my phony smile for today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pykke
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Message by skipper8
on July 05 2012 at 7:35 am
Location: Canada Joined: July 02 2002 Posts:
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Well Pykke- it sounds like you are doing your best and that is all one can do isn't it . I sure hope you have a wonderful time at your granddaughters wedding .......I know himself will be nice and close to you on that day ..
Take good care of yourself through all this and I will look forward to hearing back about how it all went....
Thank you again for never giving up on me with my quit - I feel great today and seldom have craves and they are easy to brush off now ---- I will always keep in mind how darn easy it is to slide back into addiction , even after all those years xo
~~The time is always right , to do what is right ~~ KTQ ~~Kathy
QD- 21-11-11 :)
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Message by betsy
on July 05 2012 at 7:48 am
Location: United States Joined: January 11 2004 Posts:
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Oh Pykke
I can only send you a big cyber-hug
.gif)
betsy QD 11/10/03
Today is the best day to not smoke!
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Message by Babs
on July 05 2012 at 8:58 am
Location: United States Joined: November 16 2006 Posts:
10152
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 Wish I lived closer. We could have made some great fire works.
Not One Puff Ever and
Keep a Sense of Humor.
Babs ~ 9/15/06
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Message by PackyLou
on July 05 2012 at 9:53 am
Location: United States Joined: September 13 2007 Posts:
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I feel sad to read this, I know a little about the missing your beloved part and that is so hard! It does leave a big hole in your life...but I think the whole upheaval of your life and moving and all would be very hard for any of us to adjust to. I, too, wish that I lived close enough to visit and take you on adventures.
The big wedding trip sounds like quite the adventure, I sure hope you enjoy it, take care,
Barbara
"I took the road less traveled by ~
and it has made all the difference..."
QD: 9/10/07
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Message by Dancing Cheese
on July 06 2012 at 9:06 pm
Location: Canada Joined: March 21 2007 Posts:
364
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Pykke,
I only wish I was there. I would visit and break up your lonely day! I know how hard it is to loose someone,...my Dad lived two years without my Mom...both passed on b/c of smoking. But none the less he enjoyed every single moment...hooked to oxygen or not...he was pure love. I miss my Dad every day. I could live a thousand years and not find one more person as pure in heart as my Dad.
I really wish I was there. I hate how elderly are treated...younger people forget that older people are like they are..only with more wisdom. Your so far past most your age Pykke! Love today, and live to see tomorrow.
Keep in touch!
Jane
"With each day of victory...comes the hope for a lifetime of triumph!"
Dancing Cheese
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Message by I'm done
on July 07 2012 at 11:51 am
Location: United States Joined: June 20 2006 Posts:
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I'm so sorry you are a bit down, but I understand. Life takes some strange twists and turns in the road. You have to know that himself is still very close to you as he will forever be in your heart. And he will be at the wedding, in a quiet place in your heart. You have made so many plans for it and I admire you. Enjoy the gifts each day brings and take care.
The first two weeks of your quit will be the hardest thing you do in your life unless you must quit again. Not one puff! --Janet--
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Message by Earlz
on July 08 2012 at 10:39 pm
- moderator
Location: United States Joined: July 16 2002 Posts:
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Himself will not be there to give her away but I am sure himself will be there when your grand daughter gets married. I am sure that you bring happiness with you no matter where you are. Enjoy the wedding.
My lady friend is a very sweet lady. My voice what ever was left of it is gone but I still sing silently. Take care Juliet
Protect the Children
Quit Date 11/19/2000
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Message by Dewey
on July 09 2012 at 7:35 pm
Location: Australia Joined: March 21 2010 Posts:
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Losing a beloved partner of so many years is never easy. In one way you were blessed to have such a long and loving marriage with himself, in another it just makes it harder to bear when that person is no longer with you.
Leaving a home where you have so many memories of your time together just makes it that more difficult to adjust to all the changes that have happened in your life.
Hopefully your happy smile will return. Sometimes families forget that even though it has been 2 years you are still in the process of grieving for himself.
Himself may not be with you in person but, he will be in your heart and that is what is important. Its always extra special for a granddaughter to have her Grandma with her on the day she marries.
You've done all the arranging, flights, etc are booked so go and enjoy your granddaughter's wedding and celebrate her big day. Don't worry about the money you are spending on the trip, its called "spending the children's inheritance". That's what the money is there for, for you to spend as you please. Its your money, you get to spend it.
((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
Dewey
Going my way
Quit Date: 22.03.2010
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