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Slow Suicide
By mom22many
on July 22 2011 at 10:07 pm
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35, Female
United States
Member Since: July 17 2011
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Man i could write so much tonight as today was filled with all kinds of expierences, positive & finishing negative but im turning that around cause im here!  Worked today which im not sure ive shared is at a hospital, med-surg floor mostly so what we see is people who tend to make poor lifestyle choices which in turn leads to a hospital visit. I worked with a kind soul, a man in his late 70's married for 58 years suffering from moderate dementia. he would get anixous and mildly agitated until i would hold his hand and he would take his other hand and rub my hand inbetween his. Lots of his sentences made no sense but he kept on trying to talk with me and the one thing i could understand was when he told me to believe in myself (i swear it was sureal) and he said that i was a lovely lady he even kissed the back of my hand, softly I kept him calm today and comforted him through not saying much words but just holding hands, he needed to feel connected in the only way his brain could accept and understand the input.....through touch. I wish i could reach through this screen and rub Micheles hand tonight, i read the post tonight and it seems to be difficult but i wish i could let her know breaking free from nicotine is the greatest gift one can give themselves which then trickles to all around them. Its hard to quit but even harder to breathe through rotted lungs. You have the power to quit, you must believe, change that negative thought into a positive one~anyone who smokes is really performing a slow suicide, some may luck out and not get a terminal disease but have difficultly throughtout a life possible cut short, a gamble really....how lucky do you feel? Gosh i wish i could give everyone peace during their recovery, Smoking is a mental illness and we are drug addicts. Live clean, live free, choose to live today. Arent you tired and isn't hard to continue to get a simple cold & end up with a awful cough and congestion for months, just wont go away, right? lingers? is that really easy?
Alright enough with that rant, my children pissed me off tonight which is where the ending on a negative comment came in, ungrateful, who were AWFUL for 2 hours straight in my parents pool tonight until finally i lost my shit and made everyone get out and left.
I had a craving today leaving the grocery and again as i sat down at the computer just now, strange but i realize i have no other choice, i am strong "Protecting my Quit" by looking at those pain in the ass children of mine knowing they need me so i can "whip" them in shape for adulthood and a beautiful life of their own. They did not ask to be born i made choices that brought them here i can not abandon through commiting Slow Suicide no more......today is day 9 and im so bloated but know this will pass....seriously im blowing up hoping its no more then a slow digestive track trying to keep up with my insane gording (not even a word i think).
I seem to want to be all over the place, i shall go
Thank You for your time
Jaime
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Message by ozzy
on July 23 2011 at 2:04 am
Location: South Africa Joined: February 10 2009 Posts:
3847
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Hi Jaime,
Sounds like you had quite a day!! Glad you are still smoke free though. That is fantastic.
I really like
'breaking free from nicotine is the greatest gift one can give themselves'
So true,
have a great weekend.
Heidi
Don't dream up thousands of reasons
why you can't do what you want to; find one reason why you CAN.
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Message by schatzy
on July 23 2011 at 4:33 am
Location: United States Joined: July 27 2008 Posts:
2055
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Keep the quit. You can do it.
hugs Heidi
Lots of hugs
Heidi
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Message by TASHIA1959
on July 23 2011 at 4:46 am
Location: United States Joined: October 08 2010 Posts:
2882
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It's a roller coaster ride for sure!
Just when you start getting used to the up and down...
there's a sudden loop ahead!
Hold on tight!!
Hold on tight to your POSITIVE thoughts!
Hold on tight to us here at QSJ!
Hold on tight to your quittools!
HOLD ON TIGHT TO YOUR DREAMS!!
I chose freedom on: 2~3~12
The only difference between try & triumph is the 'umph' You put into it!
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Message by betsy
on July 23 2011 at 7:51 am
Location: United States Joined: January 11 2004 Posts:
30637
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9 days of freedom is AWESOME!
coming here and venting is a positive plan
You really are doing very well Jaime
.gif)
betsy QD 11/10/03
Today is the best day to not smoke!
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Message by ChinHi
on July 23 2011 at 1:57 pm
Location: United States Joined: July 06 2002 Posts:
25400
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you are very right... stay strong and REM to massage your ears/hands/feet as you breathe IN thru your nose.
and you are almost in double digits way to go !
KCL = Keep Choosin' LIFE
"Never leave another quitter behind" by BTBASSER
Namaste
Mahalo Karyn and lindy our SHEROs
7/25/01
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