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Standing my ground!
By ozzy
on February 01 2012 at 3:07 am
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43, Female
South Africa
Member Since: February 10 2009
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Morning All,
Sorry I have been MIA and thank you to Peter for checking on me. The girls were downloading songs again and I hit my internet cap on the weekend.
So 1st Feb today and I got my new month's supply! I was able to read all your journals on my phone but haven't worked out how to reply on QSJ from my Blackberry. It's sooo good to be back!
There is just something special and different about coming onto my computer and reading all your journals. Amazing that from each and every journal I read, I gain something. It might be a word, it might be a phrase, a picture, does not matter. Each post just gives me the support, and belief that quitting smoking forever CAN be achieved.
Sadly, I have hit a few potholes in the road again. I was doing so well, and then I had friends around for a braai, and 7 smokers sitting around me blew a hole in my resolve. But I can't blame them, only myself, I think I was on the slippery slope since I took that dreaded puff a while back. Nico is a sneaky SOB. Whenever I give him ONE puff, he sits on my shoulder, taunting me for days after and then I can't seem to get past it. It can drive me quite mad.
Of course I wont give up. Never ever. I will continue on my path to freedom and I will make it. It is a necessary part of me, who I am. I have tasted the other side of the fence, the non smoking side, and I love it. I could never resign myself to being a smoker for the rest of my life. No way. It abhors me to smoke, to buy cigarettes, to look at stinky ashtrays, to put my health at risk.
It is just easier to smoke though. You don't have to put in any effort, you don't have to do anything, but smoke. Quitting on the other hand is a 24/7 job. It is stressful, it requires constant effort and commitment. You can't take your eye off the ball for one second.
But wow, aren't the benefits endless and exciting and how it brings your so many positive and wonderful opportunities before you, that you would not have seen before through the cloud of smoke.
So bottom line. I need to give myself a stern talking too, and kick my own backside. I know the dangers of smoking, I am not like so many of my friends who choose to ignore those dangers. Because of my mum, I know that these dangers are real and potentially life threatening. That every day I need to count my blessings for my health.
I am going to leave you with a picture of bokkie. He has grown up so much and when I call his name, he comes running to me. It really is so cute. And no Jeremiah, you may not have him for biltong!!! lol
Have a great Wednesday all....
Oz xx
.jpg)
Don't dream up thousands of reasons
why you can't do what you want to; find one reason why you CAN.
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Message by katy75
on February 01 2012 at 5:58 am
Location: Not Given Joined: October 13 2011 Posts:
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Hi Ozzy,
Do you have time to chat. I'm struggling too.
Katy
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Message by Quit Dates
on February 01 2012 at 7:52 am
Location: United States Joined: August 08 2002 Posts:
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Ah ozzie, what a dear picture. what a dear person you are. You will get it, you will. Whatever it takes, I know you got it in you. I can't say how many starts I had, too many to keep track of and I would have never made it to really quit without our dear family here.
By the way, I was just at my pulmonologist yesterday. My knee operation made it necessary to add this doctor to my roster. I have a "mild" case of COPD, so says this doctor. I suffer no symptoms, thank God -- no cough or congestion or bronchitis. In fact, I've not had a cold in years. What I do have is low oxygen readings at night and this had led me to wear a sleep mask with oxygen threaded into it. Now, I know I would never have needed this mask had I not smoked for 45+ years. Yup, serious health risks. But I also know (the doctor has said as much) that if I lose weight and get exercising, I can reverse this -- so here goes, try number who-knows on dieting. But this time, I approach it as I did when I quit smoking. Not one cookie, not one spoon of peanut butter nor one white roll or loaf of white bread in my house or in my mouth. Those 3 things I have become food-addicted to -- ALL sweets, peanut butter (my preferred helping is 1/2 jar, thank you) and only bread I can have is Ezekial bread, sprouted grains bread. I will think of you when I want a cookie, and send you the strength not to have a smoke while I don't have a cookie!!
love, charry lou
PS excuse me for going on at such length!
Quit Dates Team
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Message by hollyo
on February 01 2012 at 8:26 am
Location: United States Joined: December 08 2010 Posts:
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keep GOING....it's worth it....I won't be in this alone....I need you with me Ozzy
hollyo
quit date 12/10/10
One Day @ a time
relapsed; 11-12-11
New quit date 1/10/12
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Message by skipper8
on February 01 2012 at 9:13 am
Location: Canada Joined: July 02 2002 Posts:
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Well, reading this I am truthfully not sure if you are still quit or smoking , or smoked that night and now holding on to your quit? In some sick addictive way I envy that you had a smoke- how weird is that ?? LOL
Run Ozzy do not let the addiction grab you back!!
It is so easy to slide down that slippery slope to addiction .... I HATE that slope . I am going to be watching myself very carefully now .....be most firm in my resolve to never have another stupid puff , because it is always the crack in the sidewalk I fall through .
Glad you are ok and your little bookie- he is so cute !!!
~~The time is always right , to do what is right ~~ KTQ ~~Kathy
QD- 21-11-11 :)
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Message by Earlz
on February 01 2012 at 9:44 am
- moderator
Location: United States Joined: July 16 2002 Posts:
11605
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When we started smoking it was a choice, when we quit smoking it was a choice,when we started smoking again it was a choice. Smoking in of its self does not make a person good or bad what smoking does do is to add to a persons chance of coming down with one of the many illnesses or diseases that smoking contributes to. One out of every two people will end up with cancer my guess is of those who end up with cancer that a high percentage of the smokers will be among those that choose to smoke.
When people engage in social activities that contribute to illnesses and diseases they think that they the only ones their choices effect are them but that is not really true, when your friends and loved ones watch as you struggle they become victims of your choices. I earned this as I watched my parents and my family as they watched my two younger brothers struggle and finally lose their struggle with cancer, both of them were under 50, both of them left family and children behind. Both of them smoked and made other life style choices that contributed to their death.
I under stand that some of us started smoking before we really had the ability to make good decisions and I have some under standing as to how difficult quitting and staying quit can be. The final choice as to what you are willing to risk is yours but under stand you will not be the only one who has to deal with the potential consequences of your choices
Protect the Children
Quit Date 11/19/2000
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Message by joules
on February 01 2012 at 9:46 am
Location: Canada Joined: February 06 2007 Posts:
2066
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wishing you strength and determination - I have nodoubt that you CAN do this Ozzy. Looking forward to the day when you realize that you have it beat..........
"Never leave another quitter behind" borrowed from BTBasser to whom I owe such a large part of my quit............quit date February 14th 2007
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Message by ChinHi
on February 01 2012 at 11:24 am
Location: United States Joined: July 06 2002 Posts:
25398
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this is a 'giant step outside your mind' VERY GOOD ! "Of course I wont give up. Never ever. I will continue on my path to freedom and I will make it. It is a necessary part of me, who I am. I have tasted the other side of the fence, the non smoking side, and I love it. I could never resign myself to being a smoker for the rest of my life. No way. It abhors me to smoke, to buy cigarettes, to look at stinky ashtrays, to put my health at risk."
KCL = Keep Choosin' LIFE
"Never leave another quitter behind" by BTBASSER
Namaste
Mahalo Karyn and lindy our SHEROs
7/25/01
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Message by italiaprincess
on February 01 2012 at 6:12 pm
Location: United States Joined: November 01 2008 Posts:
1103
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you look great ozzy, and there is no good reason to waste all that on those dam butts...kick them to the curb and jump right back up here.....ciao...
QD 05/17/10
Choosing life...Priceless
AND NOW I START THE NEW CHAPTER...
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Message by qween68
on February 01 2012 at 9:56 pm
Location: United States Joined: December 19 2009 Posts:
543
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Missed you around here the last few days but I was really glad to see you posted on my Journal this morning. Sorry to hear you are on the smokes again but you are never to far gone to try again. Throw those cancer sticks down and get back on the band wagon. We are all here for you.
I WILL STOP SMOKING THIS TIME FOR ME AND MY HEALTH.
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Message by Jeremiah
on February 01 2012 at 11:19 pm
Location: United States Joined: April 19 2007 Posts:
4332
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Lol!! Although I do admit "Bokkie Biltong" has a nice ring to it..I would not do that..Work mate's are already asking me when am I making some more?? How did I find this and when am I making more??..Ozzy, It put's a smile on my face when I tell them about the history behind biltong..The look on their stunned faces..It's the nature of QSJ..We learn from each other!!
Together
Everyone
Accomplishes
More..
Puto in vestri (Believe in yourself)
4/19/07
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Message by Babs
on February 02 2012 at 12:08 am
Location: United States Joined: November 16 2006 Posts:
10142
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Not One Puff Ever and
Keep a Sense of Humor.
Babs ~ 9/15/06
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Message by Dewey
on February 02 2012 at 1:02 am
Location: Australia Joined: March 21 2010 Posts:
2121
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You may have hit a few potholes but that doesn't mean that you have given up on quitting. Tell those smoking friends of yours that they are no longer allowed to smoke around you. It won't kill them to do this. They can go out of your sight when they want a cigarette. Know your husband still smokes but resisting smoking while there are 7 people puffing away would not be an easy task. As well as giving yourself a talking to and a kick up the butt, maybe it is time to give a few other people a kick where they deserve it (politely of course).
You know you are capable of being smoke free. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and continue on.
Beautiful photo.
I think there are a few mother hens as well as few old roosters around here keeping an eye on you. Isn't it nice to be so popular.
Dewey
Going my way
Quit Date: 22.03.2010
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Message by skipper8
on February 06 2012 at 10:55 am
Location: Canada Joined: July 02 2002 Posts:
12289
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Hey Heidi !! I agree Dewey....Hope YOU are okay..... Mother Hen Kathy 
~~The time is always right , to do what is right ~~ KTQ ~~Kathy
QD- 21-11-11 :)
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Message by betsy
on February 13 2012 at 5:30 pm
Location: United States Joined: January 11 2004 Posts:
30619
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thought about you today
hope all is well
.gif)
betsy QD 11/10/03
Today is the best day to not smoke!
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Message by ChinHi
on February 16 2012 at 10:56 am
Location: United States Joined: July 06 2002 Posts:
25398
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Your animals/pets love it when you don't smell of smoke and we love it when you are here.
KCL = Keep Choosin' LIFE
"Never leave another quitter behind" by BTBASSER
Namaste
Mahalo Karyn and lindy our SHEROs
7/25/01
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Message by skipper8
on February 18 2012 at 8:17 am
Location: Canada Joined: July 02 2002 Posts:
12289
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you are mIssed you canpost even If you are lost In the process rIght now...I dId It a d dId It untIl I could try agaIn...no judgIng rIght?..
stUpId letter I on my tab onlu does CAPS @ QSJ!!
~~The time is always right , to do what is right ~~ KTQ ~~Kathy
QD- 21-11-11 :)
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