Well done, I really look forward to reading your posts. You are special and you CAN DO THIS.
When I see your garbage can, it reminds me of a war-cry my children sing at school:
Turn on the radio
What do you hear?
Quitters, Quitters, give us a cheer
We going to beat him,
throw him in the dustbin,
Have a great evening!
Don't dream up thousands of reasons
why you can't do what you want to; find one reason why you CAN.