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Hi Friends
By Joppette
on November 28 2011 at 11:08 pm
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56, Female
MI, United States
Member Since: July 25 2002
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First, thank you for all the awesome responses, prayers and love that I received in my last post. Unfortunately I'm not here as much as I'd like. I'm so involed in a lung cancer web site supporting others with the disease or helping someone caring for someone with the disease. In addition, I'm so active at Gilda's Club as a volunteer and a lung cancer mentor.
Today was a rough day. I got a call from Gilda's about a friend that has battled lung cancer for the last 3 years. She died at 6:30PM tonight. I went to the Hospice facility and said a prayer for her and stayed to comfort her son as we watched her journey to the next life.
It's so tough right now for our group. In the last two months, we've grieved two lung cancer friends, one breast cancer friend and one lymphoma friend. Tough stuff. We have two others in our group that are not going to be with us much longer. Both of them with lung cancer. One is 32 years old. He is stage IV and it's spread so extensively that we know he will not make another meeting. He will leave behind a young wife and a 4 year old son.
Sometimes I wonder why I am doing what I do. My heart breaks with every sad story. And yet, I want to help. Can I make a difference in what I do? I don't know. I struggled for so many years trying to quit this freaking addiction. I played every game known to man in my head. I sneaked cigs, I drove around with windows down trying to make the awful smell go away. I bought so many bottles of air freshner spray, that it was ridiculous. I thought my husband didn't know, and yet I knew he knew.
And then one day I woke up disgusted, and said I'm done. I'm done with the games, the hiding, and all of it. I told myself that smoking was no longer an option. I had major head games as I dealt with this, but I knew one thing. I would never smoke again. And I have not..
Wednesday I meet with my Oncologist again. I was told in my last ER visit that I have two tumors that are growing. I don't know what that means. He is not an expert in this area, so I didn't ask him questions. My Oncologist will tell me what is next. The good news is that what is happening, it is happening slowly. It means that whatever cancer is there is not aggresive and most likely a slug. At the same time, it means that I may have to have another lobe removved.
My lung capacity is not that good now. I'm not on oxygen (thankful)), but if a lobe is removed,, I may have to be. I'm young. 57. I can't imagine lugging an oxygen tank around.
One of my friends that is not going to be around much longer at Gida's posted this thought....."Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain". I like that a lot. I'm gong to dance in the rain.
Judy
Living with lung cancer since 2007, and still doing it! Smoke free.
QD: 12/3/2004
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Message by ozzy
on November 29 2011 at 12:45 am
Location: South Africa Joined: February 10 2009 Posts:
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Awesome post. Off to VC for me!
I think you are doing a wonderful job helping those in need at Hospice and in your care group.
Wishing you all the best with your cancer. Prayers for you.
Heidi.
Don't dream up thousands of reasons
why you can't do what you want to; find one reason why you CAN.
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Message by syscokid
on November 29 2011 at 3:13 am
Location: United States Joined: August 05 2002 Posts:
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"Dancing in the Rain" - I like that. I hope all turns out well for you as you are an Angel to the Cancer community with your outreach. Keep up the good work.
Dave
Quit chewing 08-31-10 and quit smoking 11-30-05
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Message by mikey
on November 29 2011 at 5:48 am
Location: South Africa Joined: March 10 2008 Posts:
680
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You've made a difference for me.
I went for my first colonoscopy last week. Two polyps removed in time, not malignant. I would not have gone without the awareness that people like you create. I really did think of you specifically Judy, and should have written to thank you.
My Dad has CRC, and none of his doctors told him that I should have a checkup. It's been nearly 10 years since his colostomy.
Thank you Judy, and everyone else here. Best thing for me was to quit smoking.
QD 02/29/08
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Message by schatzy
on November 29 2011 at 9:00 am
Location: United States Joined: July 27 2008 Posts:
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Hey sweetie. I'm glad this is not agressive. I worry about you. Such sadness. I don't know how you do it. I was going to send your post to VC but my other Heidi already did. God Bless you and I pray you will not need oxygen and you will come out strong.
hugs and kisses
Heidi
Lots of hugs
Heidi
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Message by PackyLou
on November 29 2011 at 9:00 am
Location: United States Joined: September 13 2007 Posts:
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Can I also chime in?? Judy, you reached out to me and i will never forget that...quitting smoking was one of the hardest things I have done and I am extremely appreciative to all of you that helped me. I am always happy when I see your name on the posting board!
Barb
"I took the road less traveled by ~
and it has made all the difference..."
QD: 9/10/07
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Message by peter d
on November 29 2011 at 9:08 am
Location: United States Joined: January 01 2008 Posts:
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We have this picture hung in our home
under it, my bride has
"Live, Love, Laugh and then we dance"
you remain in my thoughts and prayers,,,,,,always
quit date--Dec 26, 2007
hold on tight to your dream,,,,
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Message by emma3
on November 29 2011 at 10:59 am
Location: Canada Joined: July 24 2002 Posts:
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Hey gorgeous,
I know why you do what you do..because you are you, and that is a really special person. Gosh I have missed you guys!
Big hugs,
Noni
noni
~today is a gift: that's why it's called the present~
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Message by skipper8
on November 29 2011 at 11:20 am
Location: Canada Joined: July 02 2002 Posts:
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Oh Judy - I will be praying for you !
Never doubt the lives you have helped change with your good will and kind words
~~The time is always right , to do what is right ~~ KTQ ~~Kathy
QD- 21-11-11 :)
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Message by juliebar
on November 29 2011 at 11:40 am
Location: United States Joined: July 23 2002 Posts:
743
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Judy you are so supportive in everything you do. Never question your ability to make a difference. You've been so wonderful to so many here, and now you've expanded to the other website and Hospice. You are a beacon of hope. I'm sorry to hear you've had so many losses in your group recently. That's a lot of pain and sadness to deal with. I don't know how you do it.
I'm hoping for the best news from your Oncologist. Know that we are all thinking of you. I'm so glad you come around now and then. Take care and let us know how it goes.
When I thought I couldn't quit smoking, I couldn't. It was when I thought I COULD, that I DID. QD: 10/01/01
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Message by I'm done
on November 29 2011 at 8:39 pm
Location: United States Joined: June 20 2006 Posts:
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What a great post. It's people like you that most of us depend on. You give strength where people lack it. You give hope when it is minimal. You give support to those who need it most. Take care and enjoy the season! Yep, you are done, with that nasty habit!!!
The first two weeks of your quit will be the hardest thing you do in your life unless you must quit again. Not one puff! --Janet--
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Message by Joppette
on December 01 2011 at 3:56 am
Location: United States Joined: July 25 2002 Posts:
18250
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Today I found out that lung cancer is back. I'm about to begin the regime. PET scan first. Biopsy if possible. Most likely surgery to remove another lobe. I can't believe this. I'll write later when I can digest this all. Sad is all I can say now.
Judy
Living with lung cancer since 2007, and still doing it! Smoke free.
QD: 12/3/2004
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Message by Vicki
on December 01 2011 at 11:48 am
Location: United States Joined: June 28 2004 Posts:
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Hi Judy,
I've been thinking about you quite a bit lately. Wanted to write but don't have your new email address. My prayers are with you for your upcoming doctor visit. I would like to be just half as strong as you are.
As for your work with Gilda's, well I know how hard that must be. Actually I really don't know for sure but can imagine. I applaud you for doing this and being there for people who need a kind word, their hands held or a shoulder to cry on. God is smiling on you.
Best wishes Judes and know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. Hope you have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Vicki
Quit July 15, 2007 10:30 AM
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Message by Earlz
on December 02 2011 at 4:08 am
- moderator
Location: United States Joined: July 16 2002 Posts:
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I am sorry that your cancer is back Judy, your message is helping others realize the dangers of smoking
Protect the Children
Quit Date 11/19/2000
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