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My updates
By mamatanya
on October 17 2010 at 3:28 pm
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29, Female
GA, United States
Member Since: February 23 2008
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Hello. I have not been here in quite some time, so I though that I would update everyone that knows me and kind of introduce myself to those who don't.
My quit starts on Wednesday. This means that Tuesday night will be the last night that I smoke. I really thought that Chantix was going to be more of a magic pill and that I would just stop smoking. It has not worked out quite in that way. Yesterday I did smoke under a pack, which I thought was good. I've been smoking more than ever lately. Usually two packs a day.
My mom passed away in July. Once she was gone, I increased smoking. I believe that part of this is because I no longer had to hide my smoking. I mean, my mom knew that I smoked and we lived in different states, but I never wanted anyone to tell her that they saw me smoking. When she passed, I didn't care. I started smoking in my car, in parking lots, in the woods at soccer practices, etc. So, I transformed from a closet smoker (back porch) to an ashamed but I will do it anyways public smoker.
I guess that made it possible for me to increase my smoking without even thinking about it.
I do want to quit, but at the same time I am fearful. I'm not sure why I am fearful, maybe I'm afraid that I will fail once again.
I'm the mother of 5 now. When my mom passed, my little sister came to live with me. She's a doll and I am so glad that she is here, but man, it's hard to raise someone else's child. Especially a child that was never raised.
I've started homeschooling my children. I love it. I really really love it. I feel like they are learning so much more and I love being able to have control over some of the bad influences that they will encounter in their young years.
Of course, smoking does not fit in well with homeschooling. My plan was to quit before we started school. That did not happen. I am excited that I will wake up on Wednesday morning, that I will take a shower, brush my hair and my teeth, and that I will not smell like a cigarette. My children hate when I reak of cigarettes. They try to be nice, but they often hold their breath when I am talking to them because of my stinky smoky mouth.
I've decided that Wednesday will not just be the day that I quit smoking, but that it will be a whole new life day for me. I want to stop smoking, start exercizing, increase my water intake, etc.
Well, I have to run for now. I'm glad that I wrote here. It's helped me to put things into perspective a little bit more. It's like thinking something completely through instead of just a fleating thought. =)
I don't smoke anymore because I don't want to be a smoker!!
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Message by ChinHi
on October 17 2010 at 4:31 pm
Location: United States Joined: July 06 2002 Posts:
25421
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WOW! Lots of changes for you.  Take care. REM you can massage your ears/hands/feet as you breathe in thru your nose. 
KCL = Keep Choosin' LIFE
"Never leave another quitter behind" by BTBASSER
Namaste
Mahalo Karyn and lindy our SHEROs
7/25/01
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Message by Earlz
on October 17 2010 at 5:04 pm
- moderator
Location: United States Joined: July 16 2002 Posts:
11742
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The best quit aid you can ever expect to find is attitude and you have a great one, don't let any thing stop you from achieving your goal of living a smoke free life
Protect the Children
Quit Date 11/19/2000
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Message by Dewey
on October 17 2010 at 6:01 pm
Location: Australia Joined: March 21 2010 Posts:
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You certainly have a lot to contend with, raising 5 children and homeschooling them. Where do you find the time to smoke? I'm guessing your sister was a late arrival in your mother's life. You are a good sister, taking on the responsibility of raising your sister as well as your own children.
Obviously the Chantix is lessening your desire to smoke if you have gone from 2 packs to under one. Afraid there really is no magic potion to giving up smoking. The Chantix will be a great help but I guess the other part will be up to you. Just remember that you can do this. You have the desire to quit, your children will like the smell of you so much more and, more importantly, you can do this for yourself.
Fear can sometimes hold us back from doing things but the reality is usually not as bad as we fear it will be. Don't think ahead, just take it one day at a time. I know that is what everyone says, one day at a time, but it really is so true. We can only deal with today, yesterday is gone and tomorrow hasn't arrived.
Look forward to getting to know you.
Dewey
Going my way
Quit Date: 22.03.2010
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Message by ltlsqueak
on October 18 2010 at 1:07 am
Location: United States Joined: March 19 2010 Posts:
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Hey! So nice to meet you! Dewey had good advice. Think of "today" and not the future or past. It makes it so much easy when you're living in the "moment." Even now, I think of remaining quit "today" and not looking into the years to come. Today I "know" I will not smoke.
Wishing you the strength and courage. We are here for you! Come to read and post often. It really helps! (((hugs)))
Sherri
Quit date: March 22, 2010
Nothing worth having in life is ever easy.
BELIEVE in yourself!
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Message by ozzy
on October 18 2010 at 2:33 am
Location: South Africa Joined: February 10 2009 Posts:
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Good Luck for Wednesday. I truly admire you raising 5 children and home schooling them. Wow. Yes, smoking is a filthy habit, and my children hate it also. Come here lots for support, read lots, post lots. We will be here to support you.
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Message by betsy
on October 18 2010 at 7:42 am
Location: United States Joined: January 11 2004 Posts:
30773
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good to see you Tanya
and we are all here to help you through
Wednesday will be the beginning of your new life
.gif)
betsy QD 11/10/03
Today is the best day to not smoke!
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