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Caught him smoking
By Quitastic!
on February 15 2011 at 9:10 pm
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33, Female United States
Member Since: October 18 2009
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So I caught my BF smoking the other day. He kind of snuck outside while I was doing something else inside. I went to go throw a can into the recycle bin in the garage, noticed the garage door was open and lo and behold, there he was on the other side of the door puffing away. "What are you doing?" ... "Uh um nothing." lol
He had quit in May (after being a pack a day smoker for years) and I knew he slipped now and then when he was out with friends... but I guess several weeks ago he started back up again in full force. Custody dispute with his ex. She smokes. He ended up buying a pack. *sigh* Admittedly a highly stressful situation.
He thinks that the "problem" only started when he bought a pack.. That the few smokes now and then before that were "not a problem." I, however, subscribe to the NOPE method of quitting, but there's no use arguing with him about it. I pointed out that if he felt the need to sneak out and smoke then the addiction had really taken hold. He agreed and went out and bought some nico gum. Still, I noticed his car smelled like fresh smoke even after buying the nico gum.
Anyways I am disapppointed but my quit is NOT in jeopardy. I can't control his behavior. He knows not to smoke around me.
~Emily
Quitter since 10/16/09
Smoke-free since 1/1/10
Nicotine-free since 3/22/10
I take comfort in knowing that with each non-smoking day I grow stronger! It will get easier over time!
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Message by ltlsqueak
on February 15 2011 at 10:43 pm
Location: United States Joined: March 19 2010 Posts:
4016
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I hope he's able to handle the stress and not give in to temptation. It can be so hard at times. You always offer kind, strong support, and I feel confident things will work out fine. He's so lucky to have you!
Sherri
Quit date: March 22, 2010
Nothing worth having in life is ever easy.
BELIEVE in yourself!
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Message by schatzy
on February 16 2011 at 12:07 am
Location: United States Joined: July 27 2008 Posts:
2048
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My husband smokes and unlike your BF, he seems to have attention to quit anytime soon, or anytime, maybe ever. But, I quit for me. In the beginning, one of the hardest things was trying to convince him, this was a good thing. Don't get me wrong, my hubby is actaully the best. He's my biggest supporter of just about everything, except the smoking, and I know now it's because it scares him. This addiction is worse than herion. So, let him do what he feels is right, he's not you. Worry about you. Okay. NOPE is a great way to stay quit.
It's been 32 months for me, and Joe still smokes and we have no problems anymore. I even have cocktails with him while he smokes. He'll stop when it's his time. Mine came and I love it. So will you Lots of hugs
Heidi
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Message by betsy
on February 16 2011 at 7:39 am
Location: United States Joined: January 11 2004 Posts:
30619
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you are doing greeat Emily
hang onto your quit
he will take care of his
yep
N.O.P.E. betsy QD 11/10/03
Today is the best day to not smoke!
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Message by TASHIA1959
on February 16 2011 at 8:27 am
Location: United States Joined: October 08 2010 Posts:
2881
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I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend, but I can see where that would be a MAJOR stresser! Not making excuses for him, but most of us have had relapses, so I can't throw any stones. Try to be as supportive of him as you can, but above all protect your own quit! He will work his out in time. I can tell he really wants it, or he wouldn't be hiding it from you and going to get the gum in the first place. Be patient, it'll come for him too! He IS going to have to realize that one leads to hundreds, where cigarettes are concerned. I chose freedom on: 2~3~12
The only difference between try & triumph is the 'umph' You put into it!
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Message by mroxanne
on February 16 2011 at 8:57 am
Location: United States Joined: March 03 2010 Posts:
2601
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Good for you, sorry for him. You sound really safe with your quit as I hope I am. Hopefully he will come back on board when he sees it didn't sway you any. Stay strong friend and protect your quit. Roxanne
Quit March 1, 2010
Commit to the Quit one day at a time.
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Message by hollyo
on February 16 2011 at 2:36 pm
Location: United States Joined: December 08 2010 Posts:
3323
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lend him your support and keep on keeping on w/ur quit...u r doing great. hollyo
quit date 12/10/10
One Day @ a time
relapsed; 11-12-11
New quit date 1/10/12
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